Content warnings that mention terminal illnesses.
Armello is a virtual board game about a lion king suffering from a miraculous disease called Rot, and the clan leader who will replace him, various animals. Players draw cards for weapons, spells, and tricks every turn; with these and a bunch of luminous dice, they occupy villages, start missions and fight each other in turn-based battles, looking for reputation points or ways to destroy the central castle.
The computer-controlled king was also his turn. During the day, he sends a royal guard to defend or rule the kingdom, and pick the most favorite person from the players-the person leading the prestige can pass a law, such as banning magic. At night, the king's corruption spread to the map tiles, infecting the terrifying winged demon. There are three ways to victory: accumulate the highest prestige, defeat the king himself before succumbing to decay, or collect enough spirit stones to bear the mantle of the healer, allowing you to purify the sick lord and send him peacefully to the afterlife. Either way, the journey will be eventful, with the balance of hero statistics and the whim of RNG telling a new story every time. But the end result is only one: the king will die.
A few months after my sister Bea was diagnosed with cancer at the end of 2018, I started playing Armello. She passed away a few weeks ago. During this period, I spent most of my time at home taking care of her, as well as my father, another sister and my disabled younger brother. Bea and I play a lot of video games together. She and I are family geeks. Armello is not one of these games: it feels too close to the bones, not because Bea had a lot of doubts about death-themed games during his illness (the games she picked for the whole family were Till Dawn, The Walking Dead and Edith Finch. remains). But I found Armello to be a useful way to think about our situation-and how to play video games for someone is a caring behavior. I think that the heroes in Amero's works are not usurpers, but embarrassed caretakers. As the king's condition deteriorated, they staged the last heinous court conspiracy for the king. The wolf beats the rabbit with an enchanted axe, the rabbit lures the mouse into the magic swamp, the mouse hires the stray circus to steal the rabbit’s best spell, and use it to curse the wolf’s claustrophobia...The cards and dice rattle together; the heroes sway. The earth pushed each other down the stairs and had an argument with court law enforcement officers; the lion giggled on the throne of his heart.
This article does not claim some special status of video games as a treatment. Frankly speaking, the time that my sister and I spend together makes me re-dislike the hours and days of investment that video games usually require in exchange for mediocre enjoyment, for example, surprise someone in a "satisfying" way, or A short story writer who drags out any theme and half inspiration can be done in a few paragraphs. When video games are bad, they are the worst art. Their creators and the earth have paid a huge price, and the busy work of drama and habit is inserted into the hollow, dual-color simulation of the broken value system. Make up, and still active a legacy of bloodshed and exploitation.
Thinking of Bea playing games like "Assassin's Creed: Odyssey" or later "Far Cry" for the rest of the afternoon and evening, I was very angry-these games have merits, but they themselves depend on repetition and scale. And conquer. I am very angry because the Conservative government’s unforgivable early decision to allow Covid to spread uncontrollably left her with no choice but to use these things to distract herself when she is relatively mobile. But this is not and is not where I teach Bea how she spends her time, and even a "bad" game, if it is played for the company, can be exciting.
Playing video games for someone is a much more complicated skill than just playing for the sake of winning. Video games are primarily a means of expression, even if the audience is just the players themselves. It requires a framework, a rhythm, a knack for stage-specific performance, not just dexterity and strategy, but also an understanding of what the capabilities and the system say-or what they can express by pulling on the developer's intentions and limitations. It's about telling yourself a story, acting out a world, and being as witty as possible.
When playing for others, you need to understand their taste and sensitivity. For example, Bea likes gossip RPG. When I played "Dragon Age: Inquisition", she liked to be an invisible member of the Fifth Party-listening to Vivienne and Dorian talking about Skyhold's wine when going out for exercises, or the hard-hearted Cassandra and Cole mystery fight, or Sera delving into each other. Personal skin. She likes to mock, and then falls in love with the shy, over-/under-dressed characters in anime epics (such as "The Rise of the Story"). Please note that she doesn't want to hear all the content provided by the actors in Tales-I learned to skip the optional comic-style "skirts" that are produced as you explore, and these skits are sometimes just glorified tutorial entries.
Bea loves weird realms as much as I do, but she doesn't like being rushed by their residents. For games like Little Nightmares 2, Subnautica: Below and Amnesia: Rebirth, I am essentially asking her about the terrible universe from a safe movement. The drones she deployed roam deep (not that I’m just a Transparent interface-of course, part of the fun is watching her brother crash every time she opens the wrong door). We also shared our love for chattering villains. Bea converted to GLaDOS very late, it is Portal's clumsy, malicious music AI nemesis. From the audience's point of view, one of the advantages of GLaDOS is that she will not shut up-the puzzles in each room are another opportunity for embarrassing burns, deepening the mystery of the facility you are escaping from. But sometimes, there is no need for story or characterization elements. I challenge anyone not to be fascinated by the first level of the Tetris effect, even if you are not holding a controller.
We played some of these games in the young man’s cancer ward at St James’s Hospital in Leeds. His Bexley Wing was like the ark on the cover of a Silver Age science fiction book, sailing in the colorless sky in November. Bea’s room is equipped with a PS4, and I brought a Switch with a truckload of JRPGs. Together, we relived the infamous Tidus laughter scene in "Final Fantasy X"-a moment that is often satirized. When I played this game for the first time as an avant-garde boy, I sneered at it, but now I Interpret it more generously as incomprehensible changes that have taken place in a world that cannot express shock. I hope we can go all the way to Final Fantasy X-2, whose mid-stage suit changes are among the most interesting light shows in the series.
Even if Bea doesn't watch me play, I will keep the background monologue when she is busy drawing or various Reddit rabbit holes or writing to friends. I gritted my teeth in a 4X game and hesitated about breakthroughs and setbacks (once Bea cautiously congratulated me on Instagram for the strange destroyer I invented in Stellaris). I read some legends from the sky without sky, and talked about the Bliss disco in a pious manner. Bea finally tried it, but didn't impress it so deeply.
Most of this is just a slight disturbance at best. It is a way to occupy my mind while keeping in touch with Bea, and can quickly discuss the topic of treatment and prognosis. Many may not be needed. When someone has difficulty breathing or lack of food, you can do nothing by explaining Resident Evil: the village's flaws. Again, this is not a rigorous demonstration of the clinical and comfort value of video games themselves, even those that explicitly focus on the mental health of players. Considering a considerate player, in a wider range of nursing practices and occupations, the game is more like a potentially useful invitation-this is an extremely complex character that is the foundation of our social well-being and is often degraded or condescended. For "calling" "for women who lack the brains and ambitions of the right career.
I think this is also an invitation, let us think about the performance anxiety caused by the profession of playing games for online audiences. Even if you are a cisgender white male, streaming can be a painful job. From the perspective of an older "traditional" reporter who has almost never turned to video, becoming an aspiring Youtuber sounds like hell. It must be broadcast as close as possible to 24-7, a character must be created and maintained for sticky fans, and skills must be relentlessly improved for those trolls and scholars who regard the smallest mistakes as reasons for abuse... So many Let's Play comments seem to contain these "wrong" false excuses to be kicked in the chat first, or to record and share your mistakes on Twitter. I find it difficult to watch Twitch live, because even those low-key meetings for friends with a single audience seem to be full of apologies and the urge to divert attention.
If we think that playing games is a prudent behavior, not a skillful behavior, whether we are playing games for others in a professional environment or by ourselves, what will happen? This is the idea I tried to put it into practice during the hands-on activities (remember those?) in the presence of developers. When I play an unfinished game with one of the creators, I want to show them the best of my work. I try to compose each scene in the way it should be composed, and explore at a speed that allows the details of the environment to flourish. I try to act like my character, giving due respect to occasional conversations instead of rushing to trigger events. I want to entertain the bystanders, catch them in their own nets, and reassure them that it's all worth it. Look at this amazing thing you made! See how it sings and dances in my clumsy fingers. Marvel at the gentler or at least more coherent and purposeful reality that you decipher and conjure from the random matter of this fast, aimless planet. Please don't pay attention to the fact that I missed the prompt somewhere and spent 15 minutes trying to open a door.
I try to play this way, the impact on myself, for the relevant developers, they may or may not knock their feet, wait for me to slowly get out of the tutorial area. Caring for others is a form of self-care.
Bea also played games for me during her illness, allowing me to enter her own universe performance. I didn't have time or disdain. She showed me the far peaks of the horizon: Zero Dawn and Dragon Quest 11's amazing post-world reset. I introduced this game to her mainly because I found a dubbing comic. In Red Dead Redemption 2, she took me across the border to Mexico, which was another huge task I gave up in a few hours. She showed me the underside of Mario Sunshine and discussed her decision in XCOM with me, overcoming her aversion to a game that kills people without rituals or hope of recovery. All these experiences are fleeting and relatively insignificant parts of our common life, but they are acts of kindness that will never leave me. For this, Bea, I am very grateful.
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